why did I make this

Makefile

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+cookie: dril.dat
+	fortune dril
+
+dril.html:
+	wget -O $@ https://cooltweets.herokuapp.com/dril/old
+
+dril: dril.html
+	./mkfortunes.sh > dril
+
+dril.dat: dril
+	strfile dril

README.md

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+dril tweet source: https://cooltweets.herokuapp.com/dril/old
+
+Use this cursed thing by running `fortune dril` (or `make`) in this dir.
+To add new posts, remove `dril.html` and re-run `make`.

mkfortunes.sh

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+#!/usr/bin/env bash
+
+lines=$(cat dril.html |\
+    # war crimes
+    grep "<div class='text'>" | sed -e "s%<div class='text'>\(.*\)</div>%\1%" |\
+    # remove links
+    grep -vE 'https?://' |\
+    # remove RTs and replies (but not inline @'s)
+    grep -v -e '^RT @' -e '^@' |\
+    # unescape html entities
+    sed -e 's/\&amp;/\&/g' -e 's/&lt;/</g' -e 's/&gt;/>/g'
+)
+total=$(echo -n "$lines" | wc -l)
+at=1
+while read tweet; do
+    echo $tweet | sed 's%<br />%\n%g'
+    echo "                -- dril"
+    echo %
+
+    (( at++ ))
+    >&2 echo -ne "\rProcessed: $at / $total"
+done <<< "$lines"